Playskool introduces “Pound Puppy Stillborns”
Never get caught with your pants down, make sure you wear a belt and staple them on
Blue whale gynecology a teenage fad?
“Beethoven’s diarrhea,” 138 opuses all attributed to creative IBS and his nephew Karl always entertaining him with enemas.
I have Venetian blinds next to my saturnine poster of a fat slattern woman stuck in a space suit full of hamburgers.
Olympic synchronized swimmers to be tested for steroids
Preseason tornadoes wreck havoc and take hostages
How can you tell when president George Dubya is being serious?
Bush: You can tell when I’m bein serious when I have to change my underwear
Boyscouts are now able to earn merit badges for eating vegetables, getting dressed and even bathing. How are these awards presented you ask? The badgers are turned loose into their rooms with the doors locked from the outside.
Senator Mitt Romney is the holes in Reagan’s old pair of underwear, gaping convoluted loop holes of flip flopping rhetoric mustered to pander to the masses.
China bans reincarnations without written approval from a doctor, Carnations instant breakfast is also currently under review. I am currently on the waiting list to be reincarnated as a helicopter.
Stephenville UFO’s deciphered as nothing more than Frisbees and airborne porcelain plates
Wildfires rage in north Texas drought, Bush to send 50,000 troops to calm the flames down
Movie: Black Hawk Down comes out with sequel “Black Hawk Up” with Matt Damon playing the role of the helicopter
Stepfather on trial for killing his 7 year old daughter proves his innocence in court with “Worlds Greatest Dad” mug
Suicide craze linked to social networking site Bebo and parents are suing the movie cast of “Heathers.” Kill yourself and be the talk of the town, popularity’s never been so ripe.
And the Darwin award goes to
A man has been accidentally shot by a rescuer who was trying to free him from the jaws of a crocodile in northern Australia.
Israel responds to Hezbollah rocket attacks by firing mortars full of footballs
Punches for lunches campaign, “Smack a bitch and get a free sandwich”
Bush describes the hunt for Bin Laden “like trying to catch the gingerbread man”
My grandmother used to light my grandfather on fire when I was young, and we would all sit around him Indian style as she told us stories about how Jesus would tell her mathematical equations about how republicans burn better than firewood when using more gasoline
When it comes to moral fiber picture in your mind Dick Cheney in a rocking chair knitting an invisible sweater for his defibrillator while talking to his cats
Farting is the art of clenching your butt cheeks and singing
Is diarrhea an emotion?
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Anything of interest to community college students; please blog with care and common sense. Pretend your teachers are reading this - they probably are!
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