Highland park has their own toilet paper with an embroidered crest woven from an authentic sweat shop manned by undocumented workers and subjugated silk worms.
John McCain chooses Melanoma as a possible running mate.
Tom Cruise tries to trade his daughter Suri for a football
Tom Cruise found sleeping in kangaroos pouch
Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts star in “Forrest Gump’s Pelican Briefs.”
Dustin Hoffman is back in “Rain man and the temple of doom.”
I’m so tired I could eat a horse and blow glue bubbles.
FDA rules that all food will be produced near power lines
How would I kill Helen Keller? I’d probably buy a blank tape and play it next to her ear at full volume
Mankind has always been a curious species of terminally paranoid xenophobes eager to spot UFO’s and build a huge fence around our state borders with the satisfaction of knowing that Mexicans cannot afford space crafts.
Newly released “Bible Beater 4000” is heading to all retail and Joshua Christian stores May 29th; its like “Battleship” only better. The 2-player game starts off innocuous and cliché, both opponents sit at a table facing each other with their own copy of the bible and take turns reading excerpts until one of the players decides to initiate a debate with victorious intent. Point systems are frivolous and the primary objective is to stand your ground, maintain poise and look for weakness. Once all of that has been established the coup de grace is delivered in blows as the players begin beating each other with their bibles until one or both are rendered unconscious, and whoever wakes up spiritually enlightened is the winner.
Victoria Secret is set to design a line of lingerie for newborn babies hatched from the tightly inert birth canals of rich unscrupulous women waiting in line for their vaginaplasty
FOX network American Idol divulges a secret twist when Bryan Adams was crowned American Idol over both David’s.
Why is the US so paranoid about illegal immigrants? All you have to do is spill the blood from the average person’s family tree and conduct a DNA test and you’ll ostensibly find that historically we the people are ALL illegal immigrants except for the Indians.
Overcrowded prisons have begun to use makeshift prairie dog dens to relieve the inhumane living conditions forcing the prairie dogs to take lodging in bird houses and various crevices of the human body.
Hand signed Jimmy Dean vibrating sausage
Trash compactor that plays the tune “I’ve got a crush on you”
“You’ve been a bad pet” Has your dog been naughty? Now you can punish your pet with a special cage designed with stunning detail to facsimile Rykers Island prison
“Waterproof toaster” Are you suicidal but nervous about botching the job? Now you can practice in your bathtub with this innovative waterproof toaster.
“Temporary melanoma sunspots” Impress and depress your friends and family members as you reveal your peeling skin and realistic hand-written document that gives you a grim stage 4 diagnosis. Marvel as your friends and debt stricken clients suddenly begin paying you back in showers of guilt induced payments.
“Real sand dunes” Turn your backyard into the Sahara desert and piss of the neighborhood association!
“Magical trashcan” turns horse manure into chocolate mousse!
“Great white shark sperm” Sure these sub aquatic eating machines are endangered, but they don’t have to be…now you can wield the power to keep this ancient predator from going extinct in this luxurious crystal pendant full of great white shark smegma.
“Digital steak dispenser”
“Skeeter defeater” Shield yourself from errant ejaculations at distances of up to 100 yards!
Welcome to the Richland Chronicle blog. We may not be the first to start blogging, but our students aim to do it best.
For example, AP is reporting that Iraq War veterans are facing problems when trying to return to work. Look for the Chronicle’s intrepid staff to investigate how veterans attending classes at Richland are navigating their return from Iraq.
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Anything of interest to community college students; please blog with care and common sense. Pretend your teachers are reading this - they probably are!
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